تعلم الصبر و النهوض بالنفس

ربما تجد هنا دافعا للاستمرار والنهوض بنفسك



بـعـض الأحــيان تـتوهـم أنـك وصلــت إلـى طـريـق مــسـدود

لا تـعــد أدراجــك !
لا تستسلم أبدا
دق الــبـاب بـــيـدك

لـعـل الــبـواب الــذي خــلــف الــبــاب أصــم لا يــســمـع

دق الـباب مـره أخـــرى !

لعـل حـامـل الـمـفــتاح ذهـــب إلـى إلي مكان ما ولـم يــعــد بـــعــد

دق الـبـاب مــره ثــالــثـة اطرقه لا تيأس !

حـاول أن تـــدفــعــه بـــرفــق إن لم يفتح اضــربه بقوه

كـل بــاب مـغــلـــق لابـــد أن يفتح. اصـــبــر ولا تـــيــأس

أعــلـم أن كـــل واحــد مــنــا يقــابـــل مــئــات مئات الأبـــواب الـمــغــلـقـــة ولـم يـــيـأس

ولـو أننا يئسنا لــظــلــلــنـا واقــفــيــن أمـام الأبـواب !

فلا يأس مع الحياة ولا حياة مع اليأس

عــنـــدمـا تــشـعـــر أنــك أوشـكـت عــلــى الـضـيـاع ابحث عـن نـفـــســك !

ســـوف تـــكـــتــشـــف أنــك مـــوجــــود ،،

وأنــه مـن الـمـستـحــيــل أن تـضــيـــع وفـي قــلــبــك ذرة إيــمـان بــالله ،

في رأسـك عـقــل يـحـاول إن عزمت أن يـجــعــل مـن الـفــشـل نـجاحـا ومـن الـهـزيــمـة نــصــرا

لا تــتـهـــم الــدنـيــا بــأنـهــا ظــلــمــتــك !!

تــظــلــم الـــدنــيـــا باتهامك لها!!

فأنــت حقا تظـــلــمـــ نــفـــســك

ولا تكثر الظنون بأصـــدقـــائــك فهـــم ليس هم من يــغــمــدون الـخــنـاجـــر فـي ظـهـــرك

ربـمـا يــكـونــون أبـريــاء مــن اتــهــامـــك

ربـمـا تــكـون أنــت الـذي عمدت غمدها فــي جـســمـك بـإهـمــالــك أو

بـاســتـهــتـارك أو بـنــفــاذ صــبــرك أو بـطــيــشــك أو رعونتك أو

بــتــخــاذلــك وعـــدم احــتـمـالــك !

لا تـظـلــم الـخـنـجــر وإنـمــا عـلـيــك أن تــعــرف أولا مــن الــذي أدار ظـهـــرك لـلـخـنـجــر

لتطعنك وتغرس في جسدك

لا تـتــصـــور وأنــت فــي ربـيـــع حـيــاتـــك أنــك فــي الــخـــريف

أملئ روحـــك بـــالأمـــل

الأمــل يـــزيــل الــيــأس مـــن الــقـــلـــوب

و يغير نظرتك للأمور مهما تفاقمت الهموم

تعلم أن الـمــيــل الــواحـــد فـي نــظــر الــيــائـــس هـــو ألــف مـــيـــل

وفـي نـــظــر الـمـتــفـــائــل هــــو سنتيمتر واحد وقد يكون اقل بقليل !

الـيـائــس يـنــظــر إلــى الـخــلــف !!

والتفاؤل يـنـظـــر إلـــى الـغــد !

فــالــذيــن يـمــشــون ورؤوســهــم إلــى الـخــلـف لا يــصــلـون أبــــدا !

فــإذا كشفت الــــدنـــيــا أنيابها فـــلا تـــكــــشــر لــهــا أنت

بل حاول أن تـــبـــتــسـم

اصدق القول

غـــدوت بـعــد ذلك أخـجـــل مـن نـفــســي أن أضــيــق أو أشــكــو أو أتـبــرم مـن سفاسف الـحــيــاة

أدركـــت أن الـحــيــاة تـتــطـلــب الــســـيــر بـجــد وإصـــرار وحزم وثبات،، بـــدافــع الـعــزيــمـــة ،،

تــحــت غـــــطـــاء مــــن الـــتـــفــاؤل !!

فــعــلا ... كــم ظــلــمــنــا أنـفــســنــا عــنــدمـا أسقطنا فـشــلــنــا عـلـى ظــروف الــحــيــاة

وشـــكــونــا صعابها !!

نــاســـيـــن أو مــتــنــاســيــن بــأن هــذه الــظــروف تـقــف حــائـــلاً أمــام الـضــعــيـف فــقــط

أمــا الــقـــوي قوي بإيمانه

يــشــق طــريــقه غير مبال بالصعاب

(قرأتها)

THIS IS LIFE !

Health is the first of life
Wealth is the next of life
Character's courage is the best of life
Respect is must in life
Turning is the test of life
God's blessing is the crest of life
Love is crucial for life
Happiness is the perfume of life
Truth is the search of life
Death is the rest of life.

Oprah Winfery

HEAR WHAT OPRAH WINFREY HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't 'be friends'. A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is
Don't stay because you think 'it will get better'
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women..

He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up..

Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior.* Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...
Even if he has more education or in a better job.

Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...
Compromise is two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships. ..
There is nothing cute about baggage...
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. ..
Look for someone complimentary. ...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted

Never move into his mother's house.. Never co-sign for a man.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.*
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phill

You should know that:
You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one.

They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices.
Make the right one.

Ladies take care of your own hearts....

Either you heal or die ! CHOOSE !

Handling Criticism

Handling Criticism: 6 Options to Get Through It

Everyone’s a critic, right? Everyone has an opinion, everyone’s willing to tell you what you’re doing wrong, everyone’s ready to tell you how to lead your life. To be completely honest, most of us don’t want to hear it. Whether it’s coming from Dad or the boss, we’re pretty much content to just zone out and hope that we can say, “Whatever you say,” at the right point. Even when someone’s offering up constructive criticism, it can be hard to take.

Taking criticism is a skill — and being able to learn from harsh criticism requires a pretty extreme level of proficiency. There are a few ways to build up your tolerance for criticism, though, and to move closer to that level, even if you can’t convince your critics to make the switch to a more constructive approach.

1. Ask for criticism in writing

Listening to someone go on and on about what you aren’t getting right is extremely difficult. After even just a few minutes it can take the patience of a saint to refrain from telling a critic exactly where they can put their comments. But if you can ask a critic to write down his or her comments, it’s worth the effort. You’ll have a little more distance when you go over the criticism in question (and if you decide that you aren’t going to actually read those notes, you have a little more leeway to do so). You might also find that more than a few critics will decide against the effort required to write out their thoughts.

2. Resolve valid criticism

Harsh criticism isn’t exactly a great way to motivate change, but in some cases the criticism does come about from a valid issue. If you find yourself on the receiving end of some unfriendly opinions, it’s worth finding out if such a concern is actually valid. Ask someone external to the situation for an opinion, run some numbers — whatever it takes to make a decision one way or the other. If you come to the conclusion that it isn’t valid, ignore the remarks and go do something happy. If it is valid, you may need to consider addressing it.

3. Get concrete details

One of the most frustrating types of criticism is the variety where you don’t actually get any information on what you’re supposed to change. More than a few disapproving authority figures will launch into a litany of the many things they think you’re doing wrong. If you can get them to switch to more constructive criticism, you can cut a critical conversation short with something along the lines of, “If I do this, you’ll be be happy?” Actually doing it, of course, remains up to you.

4. Head your critics off at the pass

There are some people who’s function in life seems to offer criticism, deserved or not. Of the top of your head, you can probably think of a handful of such individuals that you have to deal with. For many such critics, though, you can often redirect them to other conversations: ask them about their own projects, their families

or whatever they’re interested in. You’ll probably still get an earful or two, but if you can head off their criticism and bring the conversation around to something more comfortable, it will be easier to handle the remaining criticism.

5. Recognize that some people really don’t have anything better to do

Constructive criticism is one thing, but some people spend most of their day making harsh evaluations that aren’t exactly helpful to the recipient. It’s a fact of life, and the only way to deal with such people is generally to ignore them or deal with them. Depending on how important they are to you — ignoring a parent is rarely practical — your best option may be to just do what you can to make them happy and just wait until they leave the room to do your own things. It’s not the best of situations, but it’s an option that many people have used.

6. Keep your emotions out of it

It’s easier said than done, but responding defensively or getting emotional during a critical discussion just draws it out longer. If you’re not defensive of your behavior (whether you’re right or wrong), most critics will take that as a sign that you’re at least considering their comments — making them at least a little happier about the situation. If you can manage this sort of approach, you’ll at least get out of the discussion that much faster.

Criticism is complex: on the one hand, we want to please our supervisors, our family, our friends — all those people in a position to offer criticism. But at the same time, it’s rare that we can resolve every complaint or will want to. That means that handling critiques, rather than necessarily responding to them, is an important skill for most of us to get by.

But criticism also an issue of personality. Some people are just better equipped emotionally, to listen to an evaluation of their performance. That means that different methods of handling criticism (or outright avoiding it) are necessary, especially when avoiding the emotional aspects of criticism just doesn’t seem possible.

Anger Mangement

It is easy to become addicted. Habits provide a sense of certainty, security and stability in our lives. When we depend too much upon a habit for our sense of well being, it is easy for it to develop into an addiction.

This article offers information and specific guidelines and ridding oneself of this dangerous toxin which destroys our lives.

Addiction to anger is one of the most common and lethal addictions, and one most seldom recognized. The anger addict becomes hooked by the false sense of power anger brings. As the addiction grows, it consumes more and more of their lives, producing painful consequences.

The best way to undo an addiction is to look it squarely in the face, see what triggers it, how it functions, the false promises it offers and the huge costs we pay. The next step is to undo the lack of awareness and false thoughts the keeps the addiction alive. As we begin to take charge, we regain power back over our lives.

To begin to dissolve the addiction to anger, we must learn more about it. What function does it serve in our lives? What effect does it have?

Functions of Addictions

When we are in the grip of an addiction many troubling aspects of life are blocked out. The addiction numbs us and blocks out painful feelings and experiences that we may not wish to deal with. It prevents us from seeing and dealing with issues, which need to be attended to. At this point the addiction serves as a defense against anxiety or hopelessness.

Effects Of Addiction To Anger

When we are angry we often have a temporary feeling of strength, energy, righteousness, power, authority or control. Much like alcohol, the surge of anger, which takes over, can block out fears, inhibitions and doubts. There is a temporary sense of freedom and empowerment that we normally lack.

The sense of false power which we feel can be a defense against feeling helpless or inadequate. Of course this power is not real power. Once the anger passes individuals feel weaker and more empty than before. All the while an addiction is running, it makes the individual feel safe and secure. The reality, however, is those addictions destroy an individual’s true safety. It blinds them from doing what needs to be done to build a life of true value and stability.

Anger can also block out logical thought processes, making us feel we are absolutely right. Some individuals who have trouble making decisions can make them easily then. hese kinds of decisions rarely provide positive outcomes. Many actions that might seem unacceptable when calm seem perfectly fine when we are angry.

Anger also encourages us to blurt out negative thoughts and feelings we may have been holding in that might have better gone left unsaid. Of course, after the surge of anger passes, it is difficult to take these words back. Even if we apologize the after effects remain. Although it might have felt good to speak out while angry, a little later on when reality dawns, there is often a sense of regret. In one way or another we have to pay for what we have done.

Below are some exercises which help undo the addiction to anger and regain control over our behavior and thoughts.

Dissolving The Addiction To Anger:

1)List the times in which you feel angry or upset automatically. What person, thoughts, memory or situation brings this up? For now, just notice this and write it down. As you go through the day, if another situation strikes you, step back, notice it, and write it down as well. Rather than reacting blindly, you are now taking time to become aware. Once you become fully aware of the way anger operates in your life it will not be able to sneak up from behind.

2)Find a substitute for the automatic reaction. Instead of reacting the same old way the next time the situation arises, stop, breathe and tell yourself,
“I will not be a slave to anger anymore.” Stop and listen to the person and say to yourself, “This time I will let them be right. There’s plenty of time to be right later.” Pause and listen to what they say. See how much better you feel getting pulled down into anger again.

3)Find a new way of viewing the situation. Instead of seeing the one who angers you as an enemy, tell yourself that their anger is a cry for help. It comes out of pain and conflict within. Instead of going on the attack, say to the person (either in your mind or out loud), “What can I do to serve you?” Not only will this diffuse the anger, but will open new doors for both of you to walk through.

It is not difficult to break the addiction to anger when we understand its causes and take correct steps.

Change ...

Change ...

As softly as a wind rustling the grass, making them bend in place,
or as fast and strong as a storm charging at trees forcing their once sturdy branches to twist
and even break off, change happens, change is inevitable.
But then is it change of who we are that we see or just a change in our priorities?
Is the change that occurs manipulation, a change by force?
Or a realization of what really matters?
Why are we so afraid of change when we should embrace it, for it is through change that we grow, that we progress as individuals and as a collective society.

I fear that our habits as adults have put us in a place where any perturbations or agitation to our cycle sets us off on a tirade, at times a gossipy-hateful chastisement of whoever was unlucky enough to bother us. We are used to our ways, in synch with our rhythm, and don’t anybody dare to mess with it lest they desire our wrath.

We forget how everyday, we encounter experiences that will move us just a little bit askew of the rhythm we have gotten used to. And this is not only theoretical, it is also biological.

Our brain is more plastic than we know: all the wirings of our neurological system undergo changes every minute for as we learn a new thing our neurons become ablaze with excitement.

We are programmed for change.

As children we are encouraged to learn new things, to mold ourselves anew everyday, to embrace new findings and knowledge so our wondrous organ up above can be invigorated and expanded to accommodate all the newfound knowledge and in turn boost our development.

Why then, have we allowed ourselves to be stuck in certain ways once we have reached adulthood? Can we really not change after a certain age?

And if we do, then is that change because of manipulation, meaning it is forced and unwanted, something wholly negative?

A father once remarked that he is impervious to change, that at his old age he cannot be expected to even try. Now, ten years later, the man who was once a dictatorial, unreasonable head of the household is a man who encourages open discourse and finding compromises. The man who everyone feared is now the man whose phone rings constant with inquiries for advice at reconciliation and reasonings.

What of the man who has changed from an indifferent and aggressive partner to a doting and devoted man of his family? How is this change negative? He who is endeavoring to be a good father and husband is belittled as weak, as being puppeted about by invisible strings whose grasp on him is so tight he is unable to think straight.

What of the woman whose current enlightened moved her to reject the ways of an unbridled, lascivious life to become a model of modesty and decorum?

Or the once truant student who is now striving to be studious and dilligent with marks testifying her dedication and perseverance to lead a better academic career.

Have they been manipulated by third party forces to stop their partying ways, postpone social gatherings, to focus on priorities that can uplift them and their conditions? Are the changes they have made or are making so detestable that gossip-mongers must spread it about like wildfire?

Is a smoker who have called it quits for his family betraying his friends who smoke?

And is that a bad thing? What of the alcoholic who promised to stop alcohol for his family?

Are they “party poopers”? Disloyal? Ungrateful?

Whatever other belittling terms gossipers can bring up to bring them down?

What does it matter to anyone if someone is trying to make a better living for themselves and their family?

Would we rather have them continue their old ways, to heck with the pleas of their loved ones?

Would we rather have them remain aggressive, dictatorial, violent, truant, lascivious, indifferent, irresponsible?

We call can’t have our cake and eat it too, we cannot be so obstinate against change. Defiance of change will only leave us broken or worse, blown away.

To build a successful society,

we need to embrace change,

embrace progressive efforts of change not derail them.

Ultimate Truth ...

Ultimate truth ....

“In the name of Allah the most beneficial the most merciful

I would like to start by saying I wanted to speak from my heart and not through any particular position that this temporarily world may have given me. Am also being very challenged right now because I am a public speaker because I want to say a meaning that is very sincere, and I think sincerity is something that is very difficult and a very rare commodity nowadays and am speaking for myself I think that the very word personality finding it’s root in Latin word persona meaning mask and I don’t want to have a mask before I speak and am hoping that everyone has shed their mask before they leave and have truly understand one another and looked at one another face trying to genuinely understand another one in what we all believe in below is a verse from the Qur’an.

O people we (God) have created you from a pair from a male and a female and we have made you into peoples and tribes that you may know one another.

I think that I would like to live it of saying that to me in this context Allah, God is if I am allowed to say sin ominous in this context with truth, justice, beauty and a sovereign good and I think that everybody here in one way or the other believes, that there is something true you wouldn’t be here if you believed that nothing can be true and there is something beautiful one way or the other again and there is something good because everybody has good in them, and that there is justice but the only difference between us is how we define respectively truth, justice, beauty and good so let me just tell you that Walahi by Allah I swear is all semantic and if we sit down and talk we will understand one another ultimately everyone will see what is destined for him or her to see but what ever it is not only will we see it through the veils but we will also love one another as it has happened and based on that we will give each other the respect that we have agreed to give each other not because it’s being forced on one another but because we love each other and have become friends and because taa3arafna and because we have gotten to know one another I think that Al – Sheik Bouti may Allah bless him. (Ameen)

Rubadaratil nafiha

That perhaps a harmful thing can bring out benefit and I think that a lot of benefit thing has come out of all this and I am very happy to live in this world in this time to experience this amazing human possibility of taaruf of knowing on another and recognizing the common ground between us we all have a common denominator our numerator is different. That’s all if you allow me to use a mathematical example.

May we all in hope for those who are religious I say a prayer and for those who are not lets just say we hope we look forward to understanding more deeply what truth is in whatever way we believe it to be living a life of beauty, living a life of truth, living a life of justice, living a life of good, and therefore living a life of harmony and therefore having serenity in our heart not living in agitation may none of us ever be a source of agitation for one another ever again.